Frenemies and Procrastination

I hate it when my friends turn on me. Either you like me or you don't. I don't have multiple personalities or something. Maybe you do. I don't know.

One of my "frenemies" is especially a problem -- let's call her Dianne. That's not her real name, but we'll use it. This Dianne, in friend mode, is nice, caring, and tolerant. She's not my best friend in the world, but she's nice to me. She lets me give her hugs and she comforts me when I'm nervous. Not like she wants to or anything, but she's in between too sweet and tough love. The Goldilocks Zone, you could call it.

Then every once in a blue moon (not literally, of course), she all of a sudden decides to act like one of those people that I really want to rip their heads off and punt it across the room. Anyhow, she completely brushes me off when I'm around, and even insults me. I told her to stop being so mean, and she told me to stop being so annoying.

Of course, I like to make jokes out of everything, so I exclaimed "You're turning into one of THEM!" and I point in the general direction of whatever mean person is in view. But guess what? Her friend, who hates me twice as much as I hate her, replied for Dianne: "What, one of the normal people?"

I am by all means not annoying! I'm only annoying when I want to be. I don't annoy my friends. I honestly have no idea why she's being so mean! It's making me seriously frustrated and hurt. She used to be the friend I could turn to when I was sad! I don't even know what I did!

Okay. Thanks for reading my rant. I feel (a little) better now.

Now I'm going to talk about my own flaws!

I am a procrastinator, big time. In fact, I'll let you in on a (not so) secret: I have an F in math because I never do my homework! D: I'm just now doing an assignment given last week and due yesterday... and giving up because it's too confusing, of course. I can't ever keep promises I make to myself, which really, really stresses me out. Not only am I letting my grades slip, but I almost have diabetes from not being able to keep my promise to myself to not eat and drink very much sugar!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! STRESS!
-Vienna

A Great Collection of Updates!

My high school is holding a competition in which you must make a video preventing drug, alcohol, and suicide. I absolutely love making and editing videos, so this is for me! The video is due the day before my birthday, which is happening soon... I will decide whether or not I should reveal the exact date later.

I got my friend to play the role of the main character. I made some (very realistic) props for the video that includes water and food coloring "wine", Tic-Tac "prescription pills", and basil/oregano "marijuana". I also shot a scene of her drinking a glass of water with a bleach bottle next to it, so it looks like she was drinking bleach. I'm going to shoot a few scenes by myself to make it more dramatic... but I need to invite her over again for the scene where she's dead!

My SOH2 (refer to Giggling, Crushing Boys post) is so nice to me! He complimented me today. Not just the kind of generic compliment like "I like your..." or "Your ___ is cool". He said out loud to someone else purposely so that I could hear it: "I think Vienna is the most amazing person in the world" and then he turned to me and smiled. I don't agree, honestly, with my bad habits and annoying tenancies, but he did make me feel special.... at least a little.

I have created a new habit! And trust me, it wasn't on purpose. I actually didn't entirely know why I was doing it until I detected a pattern. I used to close my eyes and ball my hands into fists when I remember a moment filled with emotion (usually bad memories!). But my new habit is to wink my left eye! It's a little embarrassing,  but oh well. It's a habit now.

I truly am the human Pinky Pie. This Friday, I'm going to help a ten year old little girl plan a birthday party. She lives in a shelter, so we can only use what we have on hand, but oh, this will be fun! I just love planning and throwing parties!

Toodles!
-Vienna

Giggling, Crushing Boys (Part 2!)

I made a post yesterday about two boys who have crushes on me. Today, though, I learned of one more who is quite fond of me, so he's my subject of humiliation today. This post's going to be a little short, but it's okay since this is the second post this week!

Hmm... not much to say about him, honestly. I know he's been crushing on me for a while, since he admitted it a while back, but I thought he had gotten over me by now! His friend, a boy who I suspect knows all the dirt his friend posses and create, waited until my SOH3 walked away to tell me, grinning, that he has a huge crush on me! Oh, how jolly! I caught him glancing at me today in class, but I think perhaps it may have been a coincidence.

Meh, this post is too short... so I'll let you know about my finger! I'll tell you know that there was a LOT of blood when I cut it...

I turned the contrast in this picture WAY up and the brightness a little down. It's really hard to see, but there's a big bad scar diagonally along the tip. It goes all the way around to the other side. And yes, I did put my hand in the scanner.

Toodles!

-Vienna

Giggling, Crushing Boys

You know how you just kinda know when a boy likes you? How they start to act a little different, how they start to talk to you more? Or even how they overhear your bullies and tell them to bug off? Yeah, it makes me feel pretty darn special too.

Well, have I got some pretty juicy secrets for you! Well, I guess they're not really secrets since I'm welcoming (almost) the whole internet to read them!

My first subject of humiliation is a boy that has sat next to me in almost all of my classes (coincidence?) for one month. I guess that if you sit next to me for that long, you'd have to warm up to me, right? Lately, he's been talking to me directly more than anyone else. He jokes around and I think he enjoys our short, almost one-sided conversations, but I don't think he's being obvious enough for me to say for absolute sure if he's crushing, but listen here: after school, I saw him grinning with two of his buddies and staring at me. I only caught them for a second before I turned away, but I know what I saw. Even after he left, his friend was still toothy and watching me, which, I'll admit, was a little awkward.

My second subject of humiliation has almost no contact with me whatsoever, but I did overhear him a while ago admitting his crush on me. In my very relaxed and casual exploratory class, a boy (or should I say my enemy that is so obnoxious beyond words that I hate with a passion, that dirty lying cheating sabotaging...) is pretty snotty towards me, including messing with my work and saying lies about me to make me look stupid and mean. Of course, what this has to do with SOH2, he's always telling him to stop being such a jerk and that usually shuts up the boy for a minute or two. I make a little joke about it and keep working, but deep down, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside!

Toodles!

-Vienna